Miz is missing
by Miznomer
Summary: Miz has been gone for a while now and some of the Residents are suspicious. Luckily they have some spies investigating the matter. Panic ensues when the details are known. AU, refers to Twilight but not crossover, suggested slash very mild mature content.


"The train to Vladivostok leaves in an hour."

"You will need a tray as the food is hot."

"Standing here will soon catch you a cold."

"Make love not war."

Deadpool could not keep up: "Wait. Wait. Wait. If the train is leaving so soon, shouldn't we get going? I don't think I packed yet. What should I bring? How long will we be staying? Do I pack light?"

Colossus was the first to speak "My friend, I am afraid you misund…"

"And somebody HAND ME A TRAY! The food is hot for God's sake. Where's the food?

What are we having? Gazpacho? Sushi? Wait. It's hot. It's buttered toast, isn't it?"

Pyro was also feeling helpful "Err. I think you're…"

"Don't stand around there wasting your time! We're going to catch a cold standing here. Let's go inside. Or at least sit down. The cold won't get us if we sit down. It only attacks those who are standing."

Iceman gave it a try. "Dude, that's not how it works. Besides, we are actua…"

"Gambit! You never told me that was your slogan. Do you know the number of T-shirts and bumper stickers there are out there with that phrase on them? You'd be rich from all the royalties! I hope you got yourself a good lawyer. those chumps are ripping you off."

Gambit sighed and took his turn "Remy thinks you need to slow do…"

"Interruptions. Interruptions. Jeez. You guys are a rude bunch. As I was saying."

Deadpool was all too ready to continue when Pyro lost patience.

"For God's sake Deadpool! Just say your secret password so that we know it's you and not someone else."

Deadpool was genuinely surprised. "But you know who I am, I'm Deadpool. You just

called my name, silly."

Colossus resisted the urge to giggle in an unmanly manner while Pyro resisted the urge to slam his head into the nearby wall.

"Just give your secret password. Please."

"My banker told me never to give my password to anyone. He said that it's private and confidential."

"Aaargh!" Pyro gave up and left the room.

"Not your bank password. The special team for the special mission password." Coaxed Gambit.

Deadpool rolled his eyes. Duh. I'm not dense, I just did that to piss Pyro off. Looking at his watch, he said: " 5 minutes? I'm slipping, I used to be able to do it in 3."

It was only after he looked up that he noticed everybody was still staring at him warily.

He sighed. "Movies are a cheap representation of reality. I'm not the Trio or any other mercenary-hireling-thug hired by Miz as a spy." Only then, did the others relax.

Pyro came back and threw Dead pool a dirty look. "Now that we are all here and there are no further distractions, we can start the meeting. I'll recap."

"Ever since the last fic, Miz has promoted the Trio to Independent status, meaning their participation in future fics will most likely be minimal. Their activities will also not be accounted for in as much detail as before. They are free to do as they like and are not necessarily bound to us or each other. We will miss them as they are no longer here as much. However, we need to be wary, because ever since their promotion, we have not seen Miz. They share a unique connection with Miz and have hardly been here since their promotion, claiming they were busy."

"Bobby, status report?"

"I tried. Still no headway with the Trio. All three of them seem very busy and claim they'll let us know if they find out something or feel anything unusual."

" Keep trying but avoid raising suspicion. Peter, status report?"

"I apologize. But, I am still unable to persuade Northstar to join."

"It's not your fault. He thinks what we are doing is stupid. Bobby wouldn't be able to do it either."

"Deadpool? Status report. We're counting on you."

"I tailed Miz and kept tabs on all Miz's contacts, sorted through garbage and everything. I found fliers, brochures and notes. And tissues. Used tissues." Grimaces abound.

"There are four likely reasons to why Miz is missing. First, the used tissues I found had lots of…erm…residue on them. It is also currently flu season and Miz has been wearing a lot of jackets lately, so it is very likely that Miz has been very sick these past few weeks."

"Secondly, Miz has been using computers a lot too. I was curious to why Miz didn't visit us, but I found out why after going through some notices. Miz has been having back-to-back deadlines for a whole fat bunch of projects. That includes: four presentations, three research papers and a 20 page report. Not to mention, normal work."

"Third of all, I have been seeing loads of notices and printed announcements. Miz has exams coming up in less than two weeks. The whole enchilada. Everything ever learnt. And it's not one of those let's see how you're doing kind of exams. It's a this-is-going-determine-your-future."

"Finally." His face fell with the word. He struggled to continue in the same cheerful tone as he was using before but couldn't bring himself to do it. After a while, he managed to say in a hushed and horrified voice: "Miz…has been reading…Twilight. And has read three out of four books already."

A silence followed. The kind that was loud. A loud, loud silence.

"That's not so bad. I mean. Well, there's. It's not like it's."

"Worst come to worst, Miz will forget about us. Like all those other authors on the FFnet. Miz might even forget the password! Miz always forgets passwords!"

"That's not the worst that could happen. We might have to live with The Cullens! I can't live with a vampire reading my mind all the time. He'll think I'm seriously kinky. And tell everyone I'm a perverted horny scumbag."

"You ARE a perverted horny scumbag."

"Yea…but does everybody need to know my business?"

"I wouldn't mind a reputation like that."

"Yea? Wait till he exposes everything unsexy about you and nobody likes you, ever!"

"For the last time, it is only unsexy to you. And it was a one time thing. ONE TIME!"

"All our guilty secrets would be out in the open!"

"Holy crap. He'll tell everyone if he finds out about my stash."

"I just realized that none of my special moves will be a secret anymore!"

"When were they ever secret? And it's not counted as moves when there are only two, and everybody knows the first one."

"You're just bitter because I won't let you do the second one with me."

"It's going to be like having the Professor in the same house again. We'll have to watch our every thought. That's such a pain."

"Eeew. Now you're just grossing me out. The mental image of the Professor while we are discussing sex? Eeeeewwwww. Now the both are linked."

"Bleuh."

"God! Thanks for sharing. Now we'll all have nightmares. I hope you're happy."

"Not as happy as the Professor will be when he see's what everyone is thinking."

"Bleugh!"

"You got that right, homme."

"You know what this means? As soon as Edward walks into the room, that thought is going to come back to haunt us, and…"

"Eeew. Nasty."

"He's going to think so low of us."

"At least Jasper will make PWP's easier. But the one in the movie verse isn't really that cute."

"True. But he'll also be able to help us to skip reams of angst scripts."

"I guess there'll probably be loads of Peter/Emmet. It's to be expected."

"Hmm…I don't know how that will go. Emmett looks kinda tubby."

"Only with his clothes on."

"If you say so."

"What if Miz brings in Alice? We would live everyday in fear of the Big Red Monster."

"Honestly, periods? That's your biggest problem with Alice? I'd be too freaked out to make up my mind to take a bath or read smut! She'd just see it coming. Like, voyeurism much?"

"He has to be worse. He can see it going around in your head,"

"She's gonna mess with us. I know she will."

"Like he won't screw us up?"

"What if they take the spotlight away from us? Miz will never get around to writing slash about us! We'll die alone! Like technical virgins!"

"AAAAHHHHHH! …"

A/N: X-Men and characters belong to Marvel. Twilight and characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Or possibly the movie people. I'm not sure how it works.

The Trio and the story, style and such intellectual property belong to me.

The Trio are three Original Characters which are vital to The Beginning, Number One and The Others. Random mentions about them throughout other stories of mine. Their powers are not known by the Residents (All X-Men and possibly Twilight characters). Thus, the need for spy approaches, in case of shapeshifters or what not.


End file.
